A Case for Men's Handbags

I have a strong feeling that ladies handbag is a conspiracy against womankind. It's a contraption to make women lug stuff around. To that end, it's been glamorised, projected as a must have accessory, and boy! so successfully that women pine to own not just one, but several and are ready to pay a bomb for them too. It has become a fashion statement and women love to carry them even at the risk of injuring their arms, necks and shoulders. 

I agree, it's based on need. Men have pockets. Women have bags. All fair there but as you get out of single life, men's pockets are still for themselves while women's bags become a free for all. All things that a man can't carry in his pocket, find a respite in a lady's bag. Picture a family outing. Dad is hands free whereas Mom is saddled with a bag. Let's have a look inside this bag. Hankies or tissues - in case of runny nose or smudged hands, a little snack, a bottle of water, coupons for shopping, house keys, shopping bags (if she is a green person like me), a pen, a little notebook, sanitiser, safety pin, an umbrella (depends on weather), charger, a band-aid and what not! Of course her wallet, phone and makeup also manage to find a place in the bag. 

During my student days, when our class went to an industrial trip, there was a guy who carried a camera around. He would always request a girl in the group to put his camera in her bag. To carry a backpack for a camera was just too much work and it was convenient to pop it inside the nearest available bag and who else would be carrying a bag but a lady in the group!

In Singapore, I spotted a guy holding his girlfriend's handbag. Over my few days' stay there, this was a recurring sight. I found it to be quite endearing. If men didn't carry their own bags, they were at least ready to give respite to their better halves. They did it with quite an aplomb too. But back home, if I ask my man to carry my handbag for a while, he would consider it no less than an act of hara-kiri. He would look around furtively lest he is caught red (bag)-handed by an acquaintance, then grudgingly carry it for the minimal possible time and dump it back on you like a sack of hot potatoes at the next opportune moment.

Why can't men carry man purses or satchels? Yeah, man bags are available in store shelves but are quite rare on men's shoulders. Ladies, why don't we encourage menfolk to carry their own bags? I am quite looking forward to the day when I am not carrying a bag and still all my stuff is accessible because my husband is carrying a man bag. So if you are looking for a gift for your beloved this Valentines, do consider a man bag for the man in your life. Trust me, you will thank me for it and so might he!

PS: I am not a manufacturer or retailer of man bags. This write-up is purely for the good of womankind.

This write-up was published in the middle section of Deccan Herald http://www.deccanherald.com/content/528942/a-case-mens-handbags.html

Do you have well wishers? Find out here....

In this whole wide world, you have only a few well wishers. Have you ever wondered who they are? It's not who remember your birthday year after year and wish you assiduously. It's not who Whatsapp you everyday or dutifully like all your posts on FB. It's not even the 2 am buddy who listens to you patiently while you cry your heart out.

To find out who your well-wishers are, you just have to attend a big fat Indian wedding or some such celebration. The best test conditions are offered before the wedding reception, when there is no beautician to help anyone or at least you because you are not highest in the hierarchy of guests. It's that occasion for which everyone has brought their finest clothes and jewellery. The functions, as is their dharma, are running late. There is a lot of pressure on everyone to get ready in time for baraat. You have to fight on various fronts. Tie that heavy sari, put on jewellery and makeup and do your hair. Now is the time for THE litmus test. 

When those pleats play rogue and refuse to fall in place, who is your dame in shining armour, who comes to your rescue armed with safety pins and we-can-conquer-it attitude? 
When that eyeliner gets uneven or smudged and your eyes look blacked-out rather than smoky, who comes to your aid with a cotton wad and cleanser? 
When that tika is flipping around like fish without water, who provides succor to it with body glue and a few hairpins? 
When you don't know if you should tie your hair or let them loose on humanity, who comes up with an honest advice and help? 
If someone does come to your rescue, then congratulations, my dear reader, you have found that rare species of a well-wisher. 

Moms generally fall under this category as do masis and sisters. But you never know for sure until they have passed this agnipareeksha. You can't blame them because the stakes are quite high. Everyone wants to look their best and mind you, they also have their own battles to fight. It takes sheer love for someone to make time and help them. In short, to dedicate time and energy for someone else to look good, needs pure, unadulterated love. Period.

It's not just about skills. There are many who are well versed at this stuff but wouldn't care to apply their expertise on you. On the other hand, there are a few who don't know the ABC of decking up. They still fumble along endearingly and hover around you for moral support. They even go out as emissaries scouting for help, looking to rope in more skilful people in your quest for beautification. You can't help loving them, those selfless souls, can you! Hug them tight and say a big thank you. I'm telling ya, you can trust them with your life, no kidding.

PS: Even if you don't use this as a test, just enjoy this theatre of fellow women getting decked for an occasion. It's one of the most entertaining reality shows you'll get to watch!

How would you like to die

Our revered Ex-President APJ Abdul Kalam passed away. His final moment came swiftly and while doing what he loved the most. Meeting young minds, interacting with them, bringing forth myriad issues concerning the nation and prodding the youth to find a solution.

Steve Irwin, the famous 'Crocodile Hunter' and wildlife expert from Australia, died not only doing what he loved but also by what he loved - wild creatures. He was barbed by a sting ray.

Phil Hughes, the Australian cricketer, died playing cricket.

Ayrton Senna, the Brazilian racing star, died on tracks while driving his car.

Maharaja Jaisingh of Jaipur died playing polo, the sport he was  sopassionate about.

So what would be I upto when I die? 

Weaving dreams? Making plans? Whatsapping? 

And what would I like to be doing when I die?

I think I know this. Maybe researching something on nature. 

Where would I like to die?
In the lap of nature, on a bed of moss. With a merry stream gurgling by and a meadow of luscious green grass in sight. With a few majestic mountains (snow capped) as a backdrop and the sun streaming in. I would like to die in morning. Yes, I love the sun. 

As to the date, I think I've an inkling of when I will die. 
I was born on 21st day of a month which was a full moon day. 
I was married on a 23rd, which again was a full moon day. 
I feel that I will die on the 25th day of a month - whichever happens to be a full moon day, thus completing janam, paran and maran (birth, marriage and death), the three most important events in one's life, all on consecutive odd full moon days. Morbid, eh? But beautifully symmetrical, wouldn't you agree!

Dear reader, do contemplate on how you might die. If you don't like what you see in your mind's eye, do less of that and more of how you would ideally like to say goodbye to this life. It's never too late or even too early to think about it!

Are we "settled"?

Now that we have made the move, we are invariably asked, "Are you settled?" It set me thinking. What does settling down really mean? It might mean various things to various people, but to me, settling down means that:

• I have found that cosy nook in the house where I can curl up to read a book or write down my musings
• I have found a similar haunt outdoors where I can soak in the sun and watch the world pass by or gaze at nature
• I have organized all cupboards and can locate stuff without opening all of them and rummaging through suitcases
• I know which brand of milk to buy or cheese to pick up without reading the ingredients (so as not to end up buying milk supplemented with fish oils!)
• I know green household cleaners and toiletries and know where to get them
• I know what to buy from which store
• I know where to drop my recyclable garbage
• I have replaced all the yellow lights in the house with white lights
• I  know all kindergarteners and their parents at the bus stop
• I know quarters from dimes and can confidently pay the exact change
• I know a park and can take little A there whenever I want
• I become a member of the library and start issuing books 
• I can rattle mine and D's phone numbers without batting an eyelid
• I have enough pots and pans and dishes so one person doesn't have to wait till another finishes her milk ;)
• I am associated with something - a cause, an organization, a job to keep me occupied

Most of the above is yet to be done, so you get the drift. But if having an apartment, a few pieces of furniture, a couple of friends and little A joining school, is enough to be considered as "settled" for someone so young in the country, yeah we are settled. For all practical purposes and let's take the middle path - we are settling down, one day at a time. Thanks for asking, dear family, friends and well-wishers!