What I learnt from a burglary at my place

You read about it all the time. You know it can happen, but when it actually happens to you, you can't help feeling shocked and cheated. So one fine afternoon, when we discovered that our house was broken in and all our electronics were gone, we were overwhelmed. Right from dialing 911, to finding out what to do after a burglary, it was a learning experience. So I did what I do best (or so I think); compile a list of dos and dont's:

Things to do before a burglary.......that means right now!

1. If you've got gold or silver, get a locker. 

2. Have a home owners or renters insurance. Choose a plan that is suitable for your valuables. Look at the premium and deductibles. A combined plan for your home and car is better than separate insurances.

3. Note the serial number of all your devices. Enable the location finder in your devices.

4. Take pictures of all your valuables (including jewelry, expensive watches, sunglasses, handbags, shoes etc.) and store on cloud and mail a copy to your mail accounts and also to a trusted source. Same goes for receipts. This will help in insurance claims.

5. Consider putting up an alarm or buying a safe.

6. Do not decorate your house from outside in a way that makes you stand out. For e.g. No bandanwaars or rangolis outside the front yard. 

7. Be extra careful during vacation and Diwali time. Definitely put your stuff in locker soon after use.

8. If you want to deck up in gold jewelry for a party, consider carrying it in a purse and wearing once near the venue. Walking out of the house all decked up might make you stand out.

9. Post a 'beware of dog' or a security agency sticker on your front door to deter potential burglars.

10. Don't leave your valuables visible from windows.

11. Don't keep all documentation at one place. For E.g. keep your ssn at a different place than the passport. 

12. Set up a verbal password for your id. At DMV, you can set up a question which pops up every time you are asked to show your id. It has to be answered verbally.

13. Set up passwords for all your devices.

14. If you go on a vacation, ask your friends to check on your house frequently.

After the burglary...hope you don't have to...:

1.If in trouble, call 911 immediately. Accept help from friends and be grateful for their presence and concern. 

2. In case your credit cards are missing, cancel them. Get in touch with your bank and let them know of the loss.

3. If your devices are stolen, change passwords for all possible sites. Also, track your devices for any clues. Report them to the police.

4. Make a list of all valuable things that are missing. Get it into the police report.

5. Check your locks and keys including car keys. If any are missing, get the locks changed.

6. Get in touch with insurance, armed with your police report and list of missing things.

7. If it can happen to someone else, it can happen to you.Everything in the world is transient. Remember? "Jo aaj tumhara hai, kal kisi aur ka hoga.... " Be happy for the good times that you had together with your stuff.

8. Don't buy more than you need. Enjoy the stuff that you have.

9. Move on. Life is made of experiences, both good and bad. Take it in your stride. One day, you'll be telling tales about it!

Men's Equality, Anyone?

There is a huge conspiracy going around for quite sometime, in fact since the dawn of civilisation. If you are amongst the fairer sex, you must have been one of the victims. Surprisingly, there is no major movement around the phenomenon. The reason might be a lack of proper nomenclature for the movement. Shall we call it "Men's Equality'? 

The truth is, men don’t want to be equal. Their version of equality reeks of "All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others." No wonder, there's a lot of noise around women’s equality but hardly any discussion about equal opportunities for men. 

On this women's day, let's talk about equality for men. Yes, you heard it right! Equality for men at hearth and home. Why should men be deprived of working for the well-being of home, sweet home, at a more hands-on level? Why should a woman be expected to take charge of her household soon after coming back from work while a man can unfold a newspaper, flip a remote and reincarnate into a couch potato? Why should recipes, child-rearing, entertaining, home beautification write-ups be forte of women's magazines, while gadgets, latest tech, sports, outdoors etc. be that of men's? 

While growing up, I used to wonder why women’s issues were such a big thing. I never thought of people in terms of gender, only in terms of human beings. But with time, the bitter reality of an unequal world became apparent. Women work harder but are still underprivileged and underpaid. According to different studies across geographies, it has been proved time and time again that women work more number of hours than men for household issues. Even for women who work outside home, responsibilities of a household aren't shared equally. So while women have learnt to walk shoulder to shoulder with men, men haven't been able to keep pace. 

It's time to rectify that. Men of the world, here's your turn to tighten your seat belts and seek equality. Rise to the occasion and be ready to take up the reins of a household with zest. Upgrade your skills, go to classrooms - virtual or otherwise, find a mentor and create a support group. Do whatever it takes but prove that you are up to the challenge.

Ladies of the world, are you ready to work for the cause of men's equality? For, I've a gnawing doubt, that men might not be very enthusiastic about claiming their share of equality. They are sure to come up with lame excuses like – we aren't good at it, we are wired differently and women are good at multi-tasking, so let them juggle everything like a multi-limbed Hindu Goddess. 

Take heart, gentlemen. With practice and patience, you can be Godlike too. No woman was born with skills to cook, clean and rear kids. She learnt it in this lifetime and so can you. We are of course ready to lend you a helping hand, walk you through the ropes,  and cheer for you. It's time to rewrite the law and make everyone equally equal in this human farm, nothing more, nothing less!

This write-up was published in 'Right in the Middle' section of Deccan Herald on 9th March, 2017.

http://m.deccanherald.com/section.php?url=/content/600228/mens-equality-anyone.html&secid=26&p=1

Bonding over Outages

As power outages used to give us an opportunity to bond with our neighbors, internet outages give us an opportunity to bond with our own family members.

In my childhood days, long before power backed-up apartment living, we used to face power outages frequently. These would be spurred by rains or simply by state ordained power savings. A cry of "Arre, bijli chali gayi..." would bring our lives to a temporary standstill while someone scurried for laalten or candle and someone else would grope in dark for torch or matchsticks. We kids would be overjoyed for getting a genuine excuse not to study and

secretly hoped the outage to last at least till our bedtime.

Sometimes we continued working in candle light. But soon enough, it would be time to go on terrace. Our neighbors would have also gathered on their terraces and gossip sessions ensued. We kids played hide and seek or ghost and watched stars. We looked for Dhruv taara and Saptarshi and tried to guess different star signs. Some astronomer types would tell us about Venus or Mars and we would nod along appreciatively. If we got lucky, we would also spot a shooting star. The world looked so different bathed in a veil of darkness. Soon, we got acquainted with that scary shadow and figured out it was nothing but a branch of our own mango tree. It looked so innocuous in daylight but nights gave it a menacing look. Sometimes, we spotted jugnus. It was magical to see them. They looked like tiny lanterns, flickering messages in a secret language. Frogs,crickets and other creatures lent their music to chords of night. The world seemed a bit more primal and interesting without electricity and for that brief while, we felt one with nature. Jokes, stories and small talk with neighbors gave a nice touch to the whole experience. It was with a twinge of regret and grudge that we accepted electricity back intoour lives. It was difficult to transition from the world of nature to the world of electricity, so to say.

Only when TV invaded our lives, did those power cuts start to pinch a little. We hoped with all our little hearts, that there would be no power cuts between 8:00 and 8:30 pm on Wednesdays and Fridays, as we waited for our precious Chitrahaar. And please, oh

please, have mercy, we prayed to higher powers, that there would be no power cuts between 9 am and 12 pm on Sunday mornings, otherwise we would miss our He-Man, Disney and Rajani. 

The other night, I and my husband were predictably sitting with our respective devices, engrossed in our own digital worlds. Our 6 year old daughter was reading a book. Suddenly, my husband appeared from his trance and came to play with our daughter. He had already spent an hour playing with her a while back and I looked quizzically at him. "The Internet is off and I don't know what else to do!" he said answering my look. Ah! The mystery was solved. Since I was also trying to load a couple of pages, albeit unsuccessfully, I joined in their game. Suddenly, internet outage had made us bond for that hour. We played a board game, laughed and had fun. And I secretly hoped that the internet wouldn't revive for a while!

PS: This write-up was published in the 'Right in the Middle' section of Deccan Herald, 11th November 2016.

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/580403/bonding-over-outages.html

Come Navratri, my heart beats for Gujarat!

People wonder what they would do if they win a million dollars in lottery. I KNOW. If I am rich enough to jet set the world at my whim, I would go to Gujarat for every Navratri. Well maybe , Gujarat for half the Navratri and West Bengal for Pujo for the other half. 

I would go and shop at Law Garden (Ha... still at Law Garden after a million dollars??) or in the bylanes of Ratanpol, Manek Chowk, Rani no haziro, Lal Darwaja and Dhalgarwad. I love the old markets, the narrow lanes, the bustle, the roadside shops, the surprise waiting at the next corner, the pheriwalas with unknown treasures....no, I don't really dig malls. I would buy authentic chaniya cholis with kacchhi embroidery - nine for the nine nights with matching jewellery - and then jet set all over Gujarat for the most authentic garba venues. I am mesmerised by the way everyone moves and swirls with music. It's like being controlled by a master puppeteer who tugs everyone with a giant, invisible string. Front, front, front, twirl, back, back, twirl, hop...it's all so amazing. So before hitting the dance floor, I and my friends would learn garba from a local aficionado. After all, going to garba is no fun until you go with dance-loving friends and know the moves. 

For, what is festive season:
If you aren't buzzing with what to wear and where to go. 
If you aren't scouting for that perfect attire or a matching accessory. If you aren't soaking in the atmosphere of decked up shops and haggling customers, waiting for your turn to strike a bargain. 
If you aren't getting hassled by dressing up and getting the right look. 
If you aren't getting complimented on the final outcome which vindicates you of all the senseless hours devoted to the pursuit.
If you aren't decking up your little one and admiring her to bits. 
If you aren't telling her why we do what we do on festivals.
If you aren't listening and gyrating to garam masaledaar khaati meethi vaangi and sanedo. 
If you aren't exhilarating in the beauty and vibrancy of it all. 
Yeah, what is a festive season if.....

I missed it all in Bangalore. I came here to enjoy Indian festivals better. Funny? But true. I continue to miss it here too. Though I have been to a garba here and a better one than in Bangalore, I miss the spirit. Still waiting for that one soul satisfying Navratri. Are you listening, Universe?

One moment.....

One moment is all it takes to change your life

One moment is all it takes for your happiness to take flight

One moment is all it takes to furrow your brow

One moment is all it takes to disrupt your now!

The power of that one moment can be devastating. Beyond imagination.

That moment in which you experience a body ache which leads to the discovery of a terminal illness.

That moment in which you get the news of a loved one's death.

That moment in which you meet with an accident.
That moment after which the world will never be the same again. For you. 

People will go around with their daily tasks. The milkman will deliver milk. The school bell will ring. The traffic lights will turn yellow, red and green. The sun will rise and set. But your world would have been turned upside down, never to be the same again. Your perspective will change. Your days and nights will be drenched in tears. You will struggle to find the why. Then you will try to cope, make your peace and carry on in some way or the other. But the world will never be the same gain.

Enjoy the beauty while it lasts. Be grateful for the moments that are uneventful. Be grateful for everyday which has been the same. If the day has not shaken you up, you are good. You might not be able to enjoy each moment but be aware that it could have been worse. Make hay while the sun shines. Live it up!

The best gift ever for your kids

As parents, we are always concerned about well-being of our children. We are running around to provide them with best of everything. From schools to activities, vaccinations to financial plans, toys to clothes, we try to cover it all. Why do we do it? Because we want to see them happy and enjoy life to the fullest. But in pursuit of the above, we forget to gift them with one of the best and most important things that will affect their lives in quite profound ways. Our health.

In last few months, I have seen parents of my friends undergoing surgeries and suffering due to ill-health. I have seen friends juggle their schedules and various responsibilities to cater to their parents. That set me thinking. Would my daughter have to do the same for me? Can I save her from spending her time taking care of me?Accidents, disabilities, congenital issues and general deterioration aside, a human body would function quite well if it is reasonably taken care of. Food and exercise are twin pillars of this well-being. Even inherited diseases can be kept at bay with a thoughtful health regimen. 

Families are turning nuclear and introvert. One or two kids are the norm. The pace of life is such that everyone is overwhelmed with work. Who would like to be burdened with an ailing person in such conditions? Will your kid be able to enjoy the hobby that you so painstakingly cultivated in her or him? Your kid, who is trying to manage her time and resources, will end up spending them on you. She might not grudge it, but let's all accept, there are better ways to spend these. 

Ill-health is draining in every way, be it financial or temporal. We often say that we wouldn't stay with our kids or burden them in anyway when we turn old. We strive for our financial independence to that end. But are we sincere? Is that enough? Will your kid not feel morally bound coming to your help if you are in distress? No doubt, the dough is important but more important is health. With spiralling medical and caretaker costs, the dough can diminish in no time. However if you are in good health, you will be able to enjoy your money and time in more meaningful ways. If you want your kids to enjoy the fruits of your and her own hard work, you should work towards gifting your healthy presence in her life and not a sickly one. Gift her peace of mind and not a constant anxiousness around your health. 

I hear of a person who never saved any money for his retirement. When retirement came, he looked utterly shocked to see his empty account. Would he gain any sympathy? 'What else did he expect? If he was not saving monthly, how did he expect a goldmine to appear magically in his account?' you would snigger. So don't be surprised when at retirement, a blank health account stares you in your face since you haven't been depositing any healthy food or workout in it on a regular basis. If you are not exercising, you are working towards 'bure din"- not only for yourself but for the whole family. The first one to suffer would be your spouse and the second in line of fire would be kids. The choice, as usual, is yours. The implications, unfortunately, will be borne by others. 

So Moms and Dads, cook one dish less, take your kids to one class less, give up that TV show, cut down on your sleep, whatsapp or facebook time or whatever your poison is and do those pushups and cardios. Go easy on excuses and gung-ho on workouts. You will then live happily, not ever after of course but till whatever is your due time, without being a burden on the apple of your eye.

Of course there are matters beyond your control that can make all your exercising and good nutrition fall by the wayside. Old age can be punishing in many ways. The best you can do is to sail into it well prepared. You can then be peaceful in the knowledge that you have followed your dharma. 

The joys of being an aspirational writer

I was at this writing workshop where they said - to be a good writer, you should be a voracious reader. Read, read, read and then, read some more. I think I hit the snooze button soon after that because that's the only thing I seem to remember. 

Thank God, they said that! I can be in bed whole day sipping coffee and pretending to be hard at work. Reading humor columns by Bikram Vohra and feeling like I'm working. Oh, the blessings of being an aspirational writer :) 

What about writing? That's for another day because can't you see, I am preparing to be a writer.