India Shining?

India Shining - proclaims a poster from a wall of a government office. "From all the spit that has glazed our beloved motherland?" I wonder. We consider it our birthright to spit as and where we please. 

All public places, especially walls and staircase landings, are a testimony to this obsession. This national habit makes me recoil in horror. There is hardly anything one can do, other than scurry away as fast as possible, in those precious two seconds, when the spitter is gathering supplies from the depths of his soul and is ready to slaver the world in all its slimy ugliness.

As I step out of my house, I keep my fingers crossed lest I encounter this spitting specimen. But it's as wishful a thinking, as my hope to travel to outer space or win a billion dollars in lottery one day. The more wary I get, the more spitters I witness. It seems that they do it on purpose. They seek me out and spit just when I cross them. I look away from one, only to witness someone else indulging in the act. No escape! "Keep calm! Glue your eyes to the ground." I say to myself. It's no better this way as I try to navigate through a veritable spit mine. The road is peppered with blobs of same stuff in various colors, shapes and vintages. Ugh! 

God forbid if you are a pedestrian or riding a two-wheeler and you happen to be in the trajectory of a bus passenger's liquid missile. As with hierarchies in general, it's better to be high in the hierarchy of vehicles, to avoid being a victim.

How do people generate such copious amounts of spit? The answer lies in incessant chewing of paan, gutkha and supari. This chewing gets addictive as most gutkhas or suparis are laced with tobacco. A househeld help told me the reason she got into the habit. She had to get up early in mornings to reach work. With no time to have her own breakfast, she used to suppress hunger by chewing supari. In no time, she got addicted.

We are mistaken if we think that only the economically poor strata of society is afflicted with this habit. The sight of car passengers rolling down their windows to get rid of their possessions isn't uncommon.

While taking morning walks in my apartment complex, I used to meet a well-to-do senior citizen on a regular basis. One fine day when I turned a corner, I spotted him getting rid of his spittle. He was least apologetic about it. "And there goes away my magical morning!" I mourned. I definitely couldn't preach him but gave him the most dignified disgusting look and hoped he got the message. The next day at my walk, I expected him to have learnt his lesson. Sadly, he remained as merry a spitter as ever.

If a Rupee were fined for every time a person spit in public places, it would  fill the coffers of our government. Or if spitting was an Olympic sport, we would sweep the dais, winning all medals in all possible categories. But alas, spitting doesn't do any such wonders for us, other than spreading unhygienic conditions and making us look like an uncouth country. If we don't ditch the habit, we will probably soon earn a slogan of "India Spitting"!

PS: This piece was published in Open-Ed section of The Hindu on 27th August, 2017.
http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/spitters-galore-without-a-care/article19565992.ece

What I learnt from a burglary at my place

You read about it all the time. You know it can happen, but when it actually happens to you, you can't help feeling shocked and cheated. So one fine afternoon, when we discovered that our house was broken in and all our electronics were gone, we were overwhelmed. Right from dialing 911, to finding out what to do after a burglary, it was a learning experience. So I did what I do best (or so I think); compile a list of dos and dont's:

Things to do before a burglary.......that means right now!

1. If you've got gold or silver, get a locker. 

2. Have a home owners or renters insurance. Choose a plan that is suitable for your valuables. Look at the premium and deductibles. A combined plan for your home and car is better than separate insurances.

3. Note the serial number of all your devices. Enable the location finder in your devices.

4. Take pictures of all your valuables (including jewelry, expensive watches, sunglasses, handbags, shoes etc.) and store on cloud and mail a copy to your mail accounts and also to a trusted source. Same goes for receipts. This will help in insurance claims.

5. Consider putting up an alarm or buying a safe.

6. Do not decorate your house from outside in a way that makes you stand out. For e.g. No bandanwaars or rangolis outside the front yard. 

7. Be extra careful during vacation and Diwali time. Definitely put your stuff in locker soon after use.

8. If you want to deck up in gold jewelry for a party, consider carrying it in a purse and wearing once near the venue. Walking out of the house all decked up might make you stand out.

9. Post a 'beware of dog' or a security agency sticker on your front door to deter potential burglars.

10. Don't leave your valuables visible from windows.

11. Don't keep all documentation at one place. For E.g. keep your ssn at a different place than the passport. 

12. Set up a verbal password for your id. At DMV, you can set up a question which pops up every time you are asked to show your id. It has to be answered verbally.

13. Set up passwords for all your devices.

14. If you go on a vacation, ask your friends to check on your house frequently.

After the burglary...hope you don't have to...:

1.If in trouble, call 911 immediately. Accept help from friends and be grateful for their presence and concern. 

2. In case your credit cards are missing, cancel them. Get in touch with your bank and let them know of the loss.

3. If your devices are stolen, change passwords for all possible sites. Also, track your devices for any clues. Report them to the police.

4. Make a list of all valuable things that are missing. Get it into the police report.

5. Check your locks and keys including car keys. If any are missing, get the locks changed.

6. Get in touch with insurance, armed with your police report and list of missing things.

7. If it can happen to someone else, it can happen to you.Everything in the world is transient. Remember? "Jo aaj tumhara hai, kal kisi aur ka hoga.... " Be happy for the good times that you had together with your stuff.

8. Don't buy more than you need. Enjoy the stuff that you have.

9. Move on. Life is made of experiences, both good and bad. Take it in your stride. One day, you'll be telling tales about it!

Men's Equality, Anyone?

There is a huge conspiracy going around for quite sometime, in fact since the dawn of civilisation. If you are amongst the fairer sex, you must have been one of the victims. Surprisingly, there is no major movement around the phenomenon. The reason might be a lack of proper nomenclature for the movement. Shall we call it "Men's Equality'? 

The truth is, men don’t want to be equal. Their version of equality reeks of "All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others." No wonder, there's a lot of noise around women’s equality but hardly any discussion about equal opportunities for men. 

On this women's day, let's talk about equality for men. Yes, you heard it right! Equality for men at hearth and home. Why should men be deprived of working for the well-being of home, sweet home, at a more hands-on level? Why should a woman be expected to take charge of her household soon after coming back from work while a man can unfold a newspaper, flip a remote and reincarnate into a couch potato? Why should recipes, child-rearing, entertaining, home beautification write-ups be forte of women's magazines, while gadgets, latest tech, sports, outdoors etc. be that of men's? 

While growing up, I used to wonder why women’s issues were such a big thing. I never thought of people in terms of gender, only in terms of human beings. But with time, the bitter reality of an unequal world became apparent. Women work harder but are still underprivileged and underpaid. According to different studies across geographies, it has been proved time and time again that women work more number of hours than men for household issues. Even for women who work outside home, responsibilities of a household aren't shared equally. So while women have learnt to walk shoulder to shoulder with men, men haven't been able to keep pace. 

It's time to rectify that. Men of the world, here's your turn to tighten your seat belts and seek equality. Rise to the occasion and be ready to take up the reins of a household with zest. Upgrade your skills, go to classrooms - virtual or otherwise, find a mentor and create a support group. Do whatever it takes but prove that you are up to the challenge.

Ladies of the world, are you ready to work for the cause of men's equality? For, I've a gnawing doubt, that men might not be very enthusiastic about claiming their share of equality. They are sure to come up with lame excuses like – we aren't good at it, we are wired differently and women are good at multi-tasking, so let them juggle everything like a multi-limbed Hindu Goddess. 

Take heart, gentlemen. With practice and patience, you can be Godlike too. No woman was born with skills to cook, clean and rear kids. She learnt it in this lifetime and so can you. We are of course ready to lend you a helping hand, walk you through the ropes,  and cheer for you. It's time to rewrite the law and make everyone equally equal in this human farm, nothing more, nothing less!

This write-up was published in 'Right in the Middle' section of Deccan Herald on 9th March, 2017.

http://m.deccanherald.com/section.php?url=/content/600228/mens-equality-anyone.html&secid=26&p=1