Weird Nursery Rhymes

I guess I stopped thinking about nursery rhymes soon after I passed out of ....well, nursery. The only thing I distinctly remember from that age is the exotic nature of English rhymes.
Why did the cock say cock-a-doodle-doo when in Hindi it said a plain and more exact kukdoo-koo? What were hot cross buns? What was whey that little Miss Muffet was eating before a spider spoilt her party? Why did little Johnny want the rain to go away while we in Rajasthan were very happy at the onset of monsoons? (We loved getting drenched in rains and the puddles left behind were a bonus.)

When  Anya, my daughter, came along,  I bought a CD of nursery rhymes and one day while playing it, I stopped dead in my tracks. Some of the rhymes were politically incorrect, some were cruel and others were plain nonsense. Did I hear them right? I played them again. Here goes one:

"Mickey on a railway, picking up stones;

Down came an engine, and broke Mickey's bones.

Ah, said Mickey, that's not fair.

Oh said the engine driver, I don't care!"

Is it really a nursery rhyme? I wondered. What  is it supposed to convey? If the lesson is that one shouldn't be ambling on railway tracks, then it's a pretty grotesque way of saying that. Or that it's ok to break somebody's bones and not even be apologetic about it? Ughhhhh......

Another one goes:

"Three blind mice, see how they run
They all run after the farmer's wife
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife
Have you ever seen such a thing in your life
As three blind mice?"

"Goosey, goosey gander,where shall i wander
Upstairs, downstairs in my lady's chamber
There I met an old man who wouldn't say his prayers
I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs."

Imagine innocent toddlers trying to mouth these lines. I for one, would never want Anya to even listen to these words. Censor board for nursery rhymes, anyone?

Sample this:

"Where are you going to, my pretty maid?

I'm going a-milking, Sir, she said,

What is your fortune, my pretty maid? 

My face is my fortune, Sir; she said.

Then I can't marry you, my pretty maid! 

Nobody asked you, Sir, she said.

Sir, she said, Sir, she said."

Teaching kids early the value of moolah, are we? Whoever thought dowry was an Indian issue, might get new insights.

Conclusion? That as a parent, I should be more selective in what I read out to my kid. Just because some nonsense was written long back and it somehow made to the traditional collection of nursery rhymes, I shouldn't be singing it to my toddler. I did a little research on the origin of these rhymes. There were interesting stories about the hidden political or royal connotations. While they make for an interesting read, there is no justification in furthering these weird rhymes.

Nursery rhymes also have a penchant for 'falling down".  Here's my list. If you can add to it, let me know.These are harmless rhymes but I couldn't help noticing that so many popular ones highlight this verb. 

Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall...
Jack fell down and broke his crown...
London bridge is falling down...
Husha busha we all fall down...
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall....

The only one which had a positive message and I enjoy listening to is (mostly because Anya recites it very cutely):

"Five little monkeys jumping on the bed
One fell down and bumped his head
Mama called the doctor, doctor said
No more jumping on the bed."

Here is a contemporary kids' rhyme by Kenn Nesbitt which I totally enjoyed. It's topical - especially in a place like Bangalore.

"I think my dad is Dracula.
I know that sounds insane,
but listen for a moment and
allow me to explain.

We don't live in a castle,
and we never sleep in caves.
But, still, there's something weird
about the way my dad behaves.

I never see him go out
in the daytime when it's light.
He sleeps all day till evening,
then he leaves the house at night.

He comes home in the morning
saying, "Man, I'm really dead!"
He kisses us goodnight, and then
by sunrise he's in bed.

My mom heard my suspicion
and she said, "You're not too swift.
Your father's not a vampire.
He just works the graveyard shift."

When i heard this I couldn't stop laughing!

Which are your and your toddler's favorite rhymes and why? Which ones do you find weird? Share your thoughts.