Rise of Aam Aurat

Two cities. Two bus rides. One issue. One solution. 

Scene 1: 

I was visiting my in-laws in Jaipur and had gone shopping with my sister-in-law. It was evening when we had called it a day and decided to take a bus back. As soon as we boarded the bus and found our bearings and straps to hold on to, we found an argument brewing in the front seats. A man was occupying ladies' seat while a lady was standing with a kid in her lap. Two other ladies' seats were occupied by men. All women spoke up against this discrepancy but the men kept sitting shamelessly.The conductor was summoned. He was boyish and his requests went unheard. Unable to do much, he proceeded to collect fare. We ladies decided that if the conductor couldn't get the seats vacated, he wasn't getting any fare from us. This flared him up all right. He asked "Are you sure you don't want to pay?" We chorused YES. He repeated his question and got the same answer. His voice had somehow found steel, which was clearly missing while dealing with the erring men. He then called up someone to report that women were refusing to pay the fare. We egged him on to report the reason for non-cooperation, which he ignored. There was a lot of commotion in the bus. The conductor said that the bus was being taken back to the depot. We were new to the city and couldn't figure out if we were going towards our destination or away from it. The bus was moving in fits and starts and finally it stopped near traffic policemen. One of the men got up from ladies' seat and slithered down the exit! When a cop entered the bus, the guy in the front started getting up. He was taunted by women to hold on to his seat. He delivered a sob story to the policeman that he was ill and was returning from a doctor's visit. This was totally a new angle and excuse. 

However, after the intervention of cops, the seats were vacated and ladies were given their due. 

We then happily paid the fare. The disappointing note was the indifferent behavior of bus driver and conductor towards the whole episode.

However, I was very impressed that women took a stance and got their right.

Scene 2: 

I boarded a bus in Bangalore at Kalasipalyam. Having boarded the bus at source, I easily got a 

seat at the front. Later, a few ladies boarded the bus and found two men occupying ladies' seat. They asked the men to vacate these seats. The men started shouting and turned abusive. I could not follow the actual conversation as it was in Kannada but the gist wasn't hard to get. The ladies found other seats for themselves but one of them was a crusader for justice. She went down to look for the conductor and came back with him and a cop. As soon as these officials entered the scene, the men came up with silly excuses. "There was an emergency call which I had to take" said one. They were however ordered to get up and this time, they complied. 

In both instances, women had spoken up. They did not take things lying down. Hats off to this spirit which will subtly but surely bring winds of  change in our country.

Singapore Sojourn - No Food or Drink on Public Transport

One of the first Singaporean experiences was boarding an MRT. I had been warned that there was a no food-no drinks policy on Singapore's public transport. Not even a sip of water is allowed - kids and babies included. The rule is valid on platforms too. Simply stated, once you have crossed the turnstiles, you can't eat or drink. 

I wonder what my bro would do on MRT. You can't separate him from his bottle. He is perpetually thirsty. Er, don't get me wrong - it's not the same thirst as Captain Haddock's. Far from it. He doesn't touch a drop of alcohol. He is a health freak and takes the rule of 8 glasses of water a day to his heart. If you haven't seen him sipping water every 30 minutes, then surely every 31st! What would a guy like him do? Though Singapore is a small place, it is big enough to have long commutes. We have spent many an hour on the MRT. So if the like of him has to undertake an hour long commute, he will have to get down the train, get out of the platform, take a fill of water, get in again and catch the next train. It would be time-consuming and I guess a tad expensive too because he will have to swipe out his card and swipe it in again. 

I discussed this policy with my friends in Singapore and they were quite in favour of it. No eating/ drinking = no litter = no dustbins = no cleaning up of dustbins and no smells. It's definitely a clean place. It's a hot country but the MRT is air conditioned and temperatures inside are cool so you aren't sweating. In fact, most of the times, I was more comfortable wearing a jacket. Though we never faced any major inconvenience due to this rule, I felt that freedom of choice should be good, especially with a toddler in tow. I do appreciate the cleanliness part but wonder if long-term health benefits might outweigh the cleanliness aspect. 

I have been on metros in London and Stockholm. They had no restrictions on consuming food on board. I don't remember about them being particularly unclean. But then, I have not used the tube avidly. In Stockholm, reams of Metro newspaper (it's a free paper and is kept at the entrance of all major stops) would be found on seats and this did make trains a little untidy but again, it's better that people read something than banning paper on metro. 

I also tried to find the policy of other Asian countries on this issue. Hong Kong has the same rule. A friend told me that in Japan, there is no such policy but the trains are anyway too crowded to eat. Watching this video, it felt that if all your body parts are inside the train, within your reach and not entangled, you could count yourself lucky! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=-UuX2Enazf4

The Singapore experience reinforced the belief that human race can adjust to everything. Habits can be developed and one learns to drink or eat before boarding the MRT. This disciplined nation has sure learnt to survive without snacking in the MRT and if they are happy with this, we the tourists can definitely take it in our stride.

Life's Little Pleasures

Ever since I stayed in Europe, I have dreamt of geranium filled window boxes outside my apartment. They look so charming and give an instant dash of  colour and vivaciousness to any house.

To my surprise and disappointment, I haven't seen many balconies adorned with window boxes in Bangalore. The garden city boasts of lovely weather which is conducive to plants - geraniums or otherwise. The population is well-travelled and exposed to cosmopolitan culture. However, window boxes haven't materialised on balconies as profusely as pastas have in kitchens or crocs have on feet.

I was on a lookout for window box hangers for my balcony railing for like forever. So when I saw these hangers at my cousin's neighbour in Singapore, I knew what was going back with me in my limited baggage allowance!

Though I couldn't find rectangular stands for classic window boxes, I was quite happy with what I could get at Daiso. 

  Everyone who has seen them on the balcony railing has gone wow and has been waiting to see them bloom.

A picnic to outskirts of Bangalore and the wait is over. It's bloom time!

Enroute Sawandurga, I found many nurseries. Some green shopping done and now my balcony looks a lot more cheerful. I can sit back and enjoy life's little pleasures. Looking forward to a burst of blooms to colour my balcony red! Now I wish I should have gotten more - for the other balcony and for gifting :)

Feeling unloved? Head to an English Farmers' Market

"How much are those cherries for?"

"2 quids a box, love."

"And tomatoes?"

"A pound for a pound, darling."

I was just a week old in Reading, England, when I went shopping at a farmers’ market. I was aghast and gawked for a moment. The prices didn't register....what rang in my ears was the 'darling' bit. How could he? I gave him a withering look and moved on to the next stall. 'What do you want, love?' Here too, the conversation followed the same pattern. I was rattled. Then mercifully, another lady came along and she got 'loved' and 'darlinged' the same way and so did the third. None of them took any affront and went right ahead choosing their cucumbers and tomatoes. So it wasn't just me after all! I stepped back and observed the conversations. I noticed that 'love', 'darling', 'sweetheart' and 'honey' were pouring down as thick and fast as the English rain. All shopkeepers, whether male or female, addressed their customers with these affectionate words.

In due time, I got used to the fact that English say these words in a similar vein as Gujaratis use 'ben'/'bhai' and Kannadigas say ''ma'/'pa'. In fact, 'ben' and 'bhai' are so inherent to Gujarati language that a husband doesn't bat an eyelid when addressing his wife as a certain 'ben'. These appendages are just a way of addressing and should be taken with a pinch of salt. Slowly, I got used to being addressed as 'love' and 'darling' in such markets and shops and never took them literally. The only grouse I nursed now was against my husband to whom I complained jokingly that I was called 'darling' and 'honey' much too often by shopkeepers than by my own husband. This time, it was my turn to get a withering look!

So if you find yourself on English shores and feel a need for love, head to a farmers' market where love is always in the air. You will sure feel loved. There’s a hitch though. Farmers' market happens only on certain days of the week. If you want love on any other day, you better look for alternatives. 

This post was published as a middle in 'Right in the Middle' section of Deccan Herald.
http://www.deccanherald.com/content/465431/looking-love.html

Confusions of a new mom

Dated: Sometime in April, 2010

Advise, comments, opinions abound.
Mired in the sea of gyaan from books, paediatrician, google, baby centre, real life experiences, other moms, my mom and who not!

What is a good start to solids?

Should fruits or veggies be the first in line? Should citrus juices be given or not?

Should fat be given? How much? What about salt and sugar?

Should I feed her only organic stuff?

How do I ensure that food from all the food groups has been fed on a daily basis?

Are her nutritional requirements being met?

How do I know if I am feeding enough? How many meals should be given and how frequently?

Apart from health issues, apparently emotional and psychological angle has also to be taken care of.

If  I don't give her sugar in the first year, will she not develop a taste for it later on?

If  I give her bland food which she doesn't like, will she get turned off from food all her life?

If I force feed her, will she be put off from food?

If I don't insist on her finishing meals, will she get a wrong message? More important, will she get her nutrition?

It looks like a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't!

God save the new mom :)

Singapore Sojourn - The Merlion Story

My aha moment came when I was researching Singapore attractions. Merlion was a must-visit, they said. Merlion.......now what could it be? I deciphered the word and there it was....mer and lion. (Ain't i clever!)  
A creature with the head of a lion and body of a fish. Pretty much like a mermaid which has an upper body of a maiden and tail of a fish. Incidentally, as Merlion is the icon of Singapore, Mermaid is an icon of Copenhagen. I wonder if there are any more varieties of mers? 

Now that the mystery behind Merlion was solved, there seemed another logical connection. The word Singapore seemed to be made up of "singh" (lion) and "pur" (city). Trust Brits to anglicise "pur" as "pore" (Jaipur - Jaipore). Singapur literally means a city of lions. Here comes the story behind the name. Once upon a time, there was a Javanese prince. When he landed on this island, he spotted a strange creature and was told that it was a lion. So he named the city as Singapura.
However, in ancient times, this city was called Temasek (sea town). 

The symbol of Merlion was designed by one Mr. Brunner, for the logo of Singapore tourism board. It commemorated both the names - lion ( from Singapura) and the sea ( from Temasek). Since then, Merlion has become an icon of Singapore. 

When we first visited the Merlion Park at One Fullerton, it was late in night. By the time we were ready to shoot our customary Patel shot, the Merlion just dried up. Yes sir! He declared himself to be tired and stopped gurgling water. Imagine a tourist with his mouth agape, standing at a perfect angle, all ready for his next FB cover picture, when the lion calls it a day. We never knew that the Merlion too retired at nights. Anyway, without the water, the shots would have been incomplete and our whole Singapore experience would have been questioned. So we decided to make it on another day. By the way, someone please tell the Singapore tourism board that they need to do a better job with the pipe in Merlion's mouth. It's unaesthetic and plain unSingaporean. And while they are at it, a good scrub in the front wouldn't be amiss.

The next time we made it to the Merlion was on the 9th day of our 9 day trip. We had gone to watch a 6D show at the Flyer and then decided to walk till the Merlion. It was a hot day and by the time we reached Esplanade, we got so exhausted  that D suggested to shoot pictures from there itself and be done with it. I gave in to practicality and took a few snaps. But then, the Merlion was too small and we were too big. So like a true tourist, I decided not to be lazy and earn my 'been there, done that" moment by walking till the Merlion. 

The place was crowded and we had to wait for our turn to take shots. I never thought I would fall in the trap of posing for the "drinking from the Merlion" shot but when a tourist, do as tourists do and so I did try to give it a shot. D can't be trusted with such shots and the proof lies in the pudding. There goes water right behind me!

In his defence, it was mind-bogglingly hot, a toddler was to be constantly monitored and a stream of tourists had to be contended with.

Merlion stops spouting water between 11 pm and  6:30 am. We saw the Merlion both in night and in daytime. Both have their charms but I am glad we went again during daytime because my night photography is not upto the mark. 

I chanced upon this fun-manual on the internet.

I think I have tried the second pose.

Well, again I didn't do a great job in supporting the leaning tower but I did try :) Also, the picture is from the pre-digital era where we did not have the luxury to take as many shots as we fancied. (Note for my Mom and didi: I found this picture within 30 seconds after I commenced my search. Hence proved, my house is not that cluttered!).

Referring to the manual, I have been in the 1st and 7th situations too, but never tried those poses. Will definitely refer to this guide if I visit any of the above attractions now! 

For the record, there are four other official statues of Merlion in Singapore. The original one comes with a cub, facing the other side in the park. The third is at Mt. Faber. 

The fourth at Sentosa.

This is not a horizontal one. Try as I might, I am not able to post this picture upright! So there:) 

And the fifth is near the tourism board office.

So whenever you reach the shores of this interesting country, choose the Merlion you want to hang out with. My vote goes to the one at One Fullerton. 

Weird Nursery Rhymes

I guess I stopped thinking about nursery rhymes soon after I passed out of ....well, nursery. The only thing I distinctly remember from that age is the exotic nature of English rhymes.
Why did the cock say cock-a-doodle-doo when in Hindi it said a plain and more exact kukdoo-koo? What were hot cross buns? What was whey that little Miss Muffet was eating before a spider spoilt her party? Why did little Johnny want the rain to go away while we in Rajasthan were very happy at the onset of monsoons? (We loved getting drenched in rains and the puddles left behind were a bonus.)

When  Anya, my daughter, came along,  I bought a CD of nursery rhymes and one day while playing it, I stopped dead in my tracks. Some of the rhymes were politically incorrect, some were cruel and others were plain nonsense. Did I hear them right? I played them again. Here goes one:

"Mickey on a railway, picking up stones;

Down came an engine, and broke Mickey's bones.

Ah, said Mickey, that's not fair.

Oh said the engine driver, I don't care!"

Is it really a nursery rhyme? I wondered. What  is it supposed to convey? If the lesson is that one shouldn't be ambling on railway tracks, then it's a pretty grotesque way of saying that. Or that it's ok to break somebody's bones and not even be apologetic about it? Ughhhhh......

Another one goes:

"Three blind mice, see how they run
They all run after the farmer's wife
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife
Have you ever seen such a thing in your life
As three blind mice?"

"Goosey, goosey gander,where shall i wander
Upstairs, downstairs in my lady's chamber
There I met an old man who wouldn't say his prayers
I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs."

Imagine innocent toddlers trying to mouth these lines. I for one, would never want Anya to even listen to these words. Censor board for nursery rhymes, anyone?

Sample this:

"Where are you going to, my pretty maid?

I'm going a-milking, Sir, she said,

What is your fortune, my pretty maid? 

My face is my fortune, Sir; she said.

Then I can't marry you, my pretty maid! 

Nobody asked you, Sir, she said.

Sir, she said, Sir, she said."

Teaching kids early the value of moolah, are we? Whoever thought dowry was an Indian issue, might get new insights.

Conclusion? That as a parent, I should be more selective in what I read out to my kid. Just because some nonsense was written long back and it somehow made to the traditional collection of nursery rhymes, I shouldn't be singing it to my toddler. I did a little research on the origin of these rhymes. There were interesting stories about the hidden political or royal connotations. While they make for an interesting read, there is no justification in furthering these weird rhymes.

Nursery rhymes also have a penchant for 'falling down".  Here's my list. If you can add to it, let me know.These are harmless rhymes but I couldn't help noticing that so many popular ones highlight this verb. 

Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall...
Jack fell down and broke his crown...
London bridge is falling down...
Husha busha we all fall down...
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall....

The only one which had a positive message and I enjoy listening to is (mostly because Anya recites it very cutely):

"Five little monkeys jumping on the bed
One fell down and bumped his head
Mama called the doctor, doctor said
No more jumping on the bed."

Here is a contemporary kids' rhyme by Kenn Nesbitt which I totally enjoyed. It's topical - especially in a place like Bangalore.

"I think my dad is Dracula.
I know that sounds insane,
but listen for a moment and
allow me to explain.

We don't live in a castle,
and we never sleep in caves.
But, still, there's something weird
about the way my dad behaves.

I never see him go out
in the daytime when it's light.
He sleeps all day till evening,
then he leaves the house at night.

He comes home in the morning
saying, "Man, I'm really dead!"
He kisses us goodnight, and then
by sunrise he's in bed.

My mom heard my suspicion
and she said, "You're not too swift.
Your father's not a vampire.
He just works the graveyard shift."

When i heard this I couldn't stop laughing!

Which are your and your toddler's favorite rhymes and why? Which ones do you find weird? Share your thoughts.

My love-hate relationship with Bangalore autowallahs

Bangalore autowallahs! Everybody has an opinion about them (mostly unflattering). We all have a favorite auto-wallah story. I know of someone who was pushed to buy his own vehicle in a jiffy because he had come to blows with the autowallahs during his daily commute.10 extra, 20 extra is passe'. One and a half or double is routine. Dark and rains are conducive for cooking up a random figure which is guaranteed to make one swoon. If you dare to utter 'meter se', you are looked down upon with such disdain that you run the risk of losing all your self-worth. Tampered meters, (ill-) tempered autowallahs......the travails are endless.

I hardly take autos - maybe a couple of times in a year. But the last time I took one, I was in for a pleasant surprise. We had to go to Cantt. from Bellandur. After we had declined 2-3 autowallahs for their unreasonable demands, one autowallah offered meter plus 10. We accepted. On the way, as the meter galloped, I wondered aloud if the meter was right. The driver then told me that he was a student who goes to college by day and drives an auto in free time to earn an honest living. He took us to the destination in just 170 Rs. (plus 10).On the return trip, I enquired the fare at pre-paid auto stand. It was 220! This instance was an exception rather than a rule.

Generally speaking, the only time when I find autowallahs angelic is when I am driving. They give the best directions as they are living encyclopedias of city roads. It's easy to ask them for directions because autos have no rolled up windows and unlike 2 wheeler drivers, they don't have to fiddle with helmets to hear what I have to say.  They are never rude. On the contrary, they are eager to help and many a time have kindly guided me to the right road with a cheerful 'banni' (come) by driving ahead. They even oblige by walking to the car to hear me better. So, as soon as I am stuck for directions, I start looking for an auto. For their navigation services, I am eternally grateful to the autowallahs of Bangalore.

It's sort of ironic. When I seek their service as a customer, they drive me nuts. But when I have a non-economic transaction with them, they humour me. It kind of reaffirms one's faith in humanity!

PS: This article was published in 'Right in the Middle" in Deccan Herald.

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/395330/ways-autowallahs.html